Sarah Palin’s got a point about humans being able to learn from the behavior of grizzly bears. Some lessons we can extrapolate from bear culture:
*No talking. Bears do not have language. We should growl, and maybe moan when in pain.
*Fishing should be undertaken using nothing but our formidable paws.
*Our ideal weight is 1200 pounds (about 544 kg).
*Naturally, we must go naked at all times.
*Mating must take place between May and July, after which (serial monogamy being the ideal), we must take leave of our partners until the next mating season. Fathers must, under no circumstances, take any part in child-rearing.
*It is sometimes acceptable for a father to kill and eat his children (if he's super-hungry or they're just annoying him), or to kill his children in order to make his female partner sexually receptive.
*Children should leave their mother’s home between the ages of two and four.
*We should eat a nutritious diet of fish, roots, berries, moths, the occasional deer or moose, and carrion.
Feel free to add any additional moral lessons below.